It's been so so so long since i blogged. I don't think anyone even reads this page anymore.
It's amazing how much things can change in a short period of time, how much things can happen, how much we grew, and how relationships between one another can get better or otherwise.
Time is like the killer.
Often i ask Samantha questions that i myself have never thought of. What made me do all the things I did? Am I truly happy? Is this what I want?
I think I'm happy. At least contented with what I have. My life might not be as good as others, my parents might not earn so much for my sister and i to spend, i might not have everything i want, but i have a home. We don't have to worry about food. I think that's all that i need. Of course including my family to be healthy.
With all that i've been through, the betrayals and conflict among all of my friends, i realized i build walls around my heart. Insecurities never seem to go away. Cus just when i trust that this particular friend will not leave, she'll always be there, she proves to me that I'm wrong. Maybe she said she'll always be there, but she might not understand what am i going through. And the sad part is, your best friend, have her own best friend. When you think about "Best Friend", you might think of this person, but when that person think about "Best Friend", she's not thinking of you.
Everybody got their own circle of friends, so i guess this is life.
I seem to always let the wrong people in.
Another thing i really don't understand, is how can people be so contradicting with their words and actions? Talk is cheap. Words are worthless. They're nothing. People often speak without thinking, make promises as if it'll really happen.
How do we speak what our heart wants to express?